Manna in the Desert

Insomniacs often wonder how long they can survive without sleep. They know sleep is important—and are frequently reminded by concerned family members—yet they can never get enough, if any, to feel confident that their bodies will endure another day.

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I think it probably feels similar to wandering in a desert. We know humans aren’t meant to live in a desert; we need food, water, shelter, clothing, etc. Surely one could only survive days, maybe weeks, in such harsh conditions.

Logically, yes, humans would perish quickly in a desert. Likewise, they would not function well, or even survive long, without sleep. But this is without considering the Miracle Factor.

The Miracle Factor allows humans to survive in a desert for 40 years. It produces life-giving bread that drops out of the heavens. It supplies water flowing freely out of solid rock. It keeps shoes and clothing from ever wearing out. The Miracle Factor defies all human logic.

I’ve experienced the Miracle Factor recently. Around the time I posted “When Things Get Worse,” I thought for sure my life was about to take a fast downward spiral. My sleep declined drastically for many nights and I experienced bouts of depression, likely stemming from fear over what was happening to my body.

I would climb into bed with my heart pounding, feeling incredibly anxious over trying to fall asleep again, and knowing the whole night would be a battle. I felt fearful, miserably sad, and of course, emotionally and physically exhausted.

After several days of this, I should have been a wreck. My spirits should have plummeted to rock bottom, my body should have been drained of energy, and my brain should have entered zombie mode. That’s when the Miracle Factor showed up. Over the course of a few days, without any improvements in sleep, a sense of peace filled my mind and spirit, providing what felt like a protective shield around my whole being. This peace developed through lots of prayer, scripture, and the Holy Spirit dwelling in some amazing friends. The miraculous peace allowed me to feel safe, and it reminded me that I have all the tools I need to arm myself against fear and worry.

Toward the end of my nearly sleepless week, my body felt perfectly fine—normal, even—and my spirit overflowed with hope. I kept telling people, “I should be completely exhausted right now. This is crazy. It makes no sense.” Crazy or not, I knew that the Miracle Factor stepped in that week.

Slowly, my sleep began to improve to where I am now. It’s nowhere near perfect—usually five to six hours broken up into many sections—but I’m finding it is just enough to fulfill my purpose each day.

I’m thankful. Even though I’m still wandering in the desert, somehow that life-giving bread continues to fall from heaven. Every. Single. Day.

Peace and blessings,

Kat, (semi-professional) insomniac

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